12 Assholes named All-Stars

The 83rd All-Star Game rosters were announced today featuring 12 Assholes. Of course these guys aren’t really assholes (with the possible exception of Starlin Castro). Quite the contrary, in fact, but the four teams we follow here are well presented. Here’s the rundown:

Starters 
C Buster Posey, SF — Good to see he’s rebounded nicely from last year’s mangled ankle.
1B Prince Fielder, DET — Fear the power of the gut!  An inspiration to all us fat guys.
3B Pablo Sandoval, SF — See above.
OF Melky Cabrera, SF — The Melk Man has been delivering all year.

Pitchers
Matt Cain, SF — Perfect games tend to land you a spot on the All-Star team.
Chris Sale, CWS — A well-deserved nod to The Scarecrow.
Justin Verlander, DET — Of course.

Reserves
1B Paul Konerko, CWS — The most underrated hitter of the era?
3B Miguel Cabrera, DET — Should’ve been the starter over Beltre.
SS Starlin Castro, CHC — Figured he’d be the one obligatory Cubs representative.
DH Adam Dunn, CWS — Great first half, but is he already reverting back to last year’s abysmal form?
1B Bryan LaHair, CHC — Really? Two Cubs?

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2 thoughts on “12 Assholes named All-Stars

  1. I pretty much agree with all your comments except for Dunn, while he’s streaky, like he’s always been, he’s far from last year. His OBP with a .210 BA is .359. He’s seeing the ball well, still. He’s drawn more walks than everyone in baseball other than Joey Votto.
    The great Starlin Castro, quickly becoming the most overrated player in baseball, has a .296 BA with a .319 OBP and lacks the power that everyone thought he possessed. He might hit 12 homers this year to go along with 30 plus errors. Not good, not why he’s out there. Dunn’s doing exactly what he’s paid to do.

  2. Like I said, Dunn was off to a great start, but he only batted .181 with a .769 OPS in June with only 1 home run in his last 15 games. I’m not saying he’s doomed, but you’ve got to be a little worried with those trends.

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