Tag Archives: St. Louis Cardinals

Rivalry Week a split decision so far

Posted on by
Reply

Major League Assholes’ Rivalry Week got off to an unsatisfying start with series splits between the Tigers/White Sox and Cubs/Cardinals.

After the Tigers shit the bed on Monday, blowing two separate multiple-run leads and eventually losing 7-5, the Sox returned the favor in a MAJOR way on Tuesday.  A resurgent Jake Peavy looked like his usual dominant self until the 6th when the wheels completely fell off.  After trailing 6-0, the previously hibernating Tigers’ offense roared to life with an eight-run mauling including bombs from Miguel Cabrera (who’s obviously happy with the way Roger Bossard draws the batter’s box now), Ryan Raburn and Austin Jackson.  Detroit needed all the runs they could get as Jose Valverde and Octavio Dotel did everything they could to give me a heart attack in the 9th as Dayan Viciedo‘s (a.k.a. Lady Di, but a.k.a. Tiger Killer) would-be game-winning drive to right died on the warning track for the final out.

Meanwhile, the surprising Cubs took their third of the last four against the World Champion Cardinals on Monday by a score of 6-4 powered by Bryan “Trade Bait” LaHair‘s ninth blast of the season and a rare productive appearance by Alfonso Soriano. Between suffering the extremes of the Tigers/Sox game and actually trying to get some work done, I missed Tuesday’s walk-off loss to the hated Cards. But I was more than happy to avoid watching those toothless, jort-wearing yokels in St. Louis celebrating.

In a strange scheduling week full of two-game series, the Tigers should get a breather facing the pathetic Twins followed by the equally pathetic Pirates at Comerica Park over their next five.  The Cubs return home tonight to face the offensively-challenged Phillies, but the schedulers at MLB really kicked the Sox in the seeds by sending them out to the West Coast to face the fallen Angels. The Halos aren’t exactly setting the world on fire, but they have won eight of 14 in the month of May.

But the real issue is the travel schedule for the Sox as they won’t land back in Chicago until late Thursday night/Friday monring for Friday’s 1:20 start at Wrigley.  I’m confident enough in the well-rested Cubs’ chances over the drowsy Sox that I picked up Jeff Samardzija (4-1, 2.89 ERA) for a spot-start in our fantasy league.  The Sox send out a suddenly not-so-perfect Phil Humber (1-2, 5.77 ERA) who has struggled badly in his last four starts, giving up 21 runs over 20 just innings.

Saturday’s pitching matchup clearly favors the Cubs again with Ryan “Canadian Trade Bait” Dempster (0-1, 1.74 ERA) facing John Danks (2-4, 6.46 ERA), but as you can see from Demp’s record, the Cubs have found many creative ways to spoil every single one of his outings. Sunday marks the return of the shaken Peavy (4-1, 2.65 ERA) to the mound to battle a chronically mediocre Paul Maholm (4-2, 4.35 ERA), so that one should be interesting.

PV and I will be at Wrigley Friday to witness the carnage while trading insults, slamming Bud Heavies, and maybe even blogging live from the bleachers (if we can still work our iPhones).

It’s NOT too early to call Pujols a bust in LA

Posted on by
2

The moment Albert Pujols signed on the dotted line, his 10-year, $240 million contract with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim became the most expensive mistake by any team in Major League history.  The fact that Pujols is about to finish up the worst April of his career with no home runs and only 4 RBI highlights what a foolish and horrendous deal the Angels have shackled themselves to for the next decade. I’m not afraid to throw around the term ‘bust’ in this case and I’m not just piling on with other pundits who are currently crucifying the archAngel.  I pointed out owner Arte Moreno‘s folly in my 2012 Predictions a month ago.

No statement could have been more self-evident than when the Angels first baseman told reporters: “I don’t try to hit home runs” this past weekend in Cleveland.   Well Albert, you might want to start thinking about trying. While it’s ridiculous to think he’ll remain on pace for 29 RBI and bat .216 for the season, a severe decline in his production should be a surprise to no one.

Pujols has strung together arguably the greatest 11 seasons ever with a career average of .327 with 42 home runs and 125 RBI per year. But the 32-year old’s (if that’s truly his age) numbers have been declining for the last two years.  It’s probably unfair to accuse him of lying about his age, but it certainly wouldn’t be unprecedented.  Record keeping in his native Dominican Republic could hardly be described as meticulous. We only have to look to this past off-season with the Fausto Carmona, a.k.a. Roberto Hernández fiasco. Age and identity fraud has been rampant for decades in the D.R. as there’s obviously tremendous incentive for a prospect to shave off a couple years when signing his first deal with a major league club.

Lionel Hutz, a.ka. "Miguel Sanchez"

Even if Pujols truly is 32 and doesn’t drop a Lionel Hutz on the world (“Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!!!”), to hand a deal like that to anyone that age is asking for disaster.  It has been proven time after time that players begin to decline in the early 30s.  As stated above, we’ve already seen that decline begin with Pujols over his last two years in St. Louis.  While I’m certainly no fan of the Cardinals, I have to admire their decision to cut ties with their demigod, knowing they got the best years out of him.  The Angels have made the same mistake the Cubs have time after time—paying for past performance rather than future returns.

Even if he turns things around in a major way this year, to think that he will be putting up numbers worthy of an average of $24 million per year even for the next two or three years is optimistic at best. But it is certain that the shadow of his former self we’ll be forced to watch as he creeps into his 40s will be a sad commentary on the short-sighted hubris of baseball owners in the early 2010s.

Thank God I’m not an Angels fan.

Mr. Clean waiting in the wings

Posted on by
Reply

Mr. Clean given Sandberg type explanation.

Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer hired another member that has ties to the Red Sox organization, Dale Sveum, the new Cubs’ skipper. Sveum was with Epstein and Hoyer as a third base coach for the Red Sox in 2004-2005 before leaving to take over as the Brewer’s bench coach where he was passed over twice for the manager’s position in Milwaukee.

Speaking of past over, the Cubs passed on Mr. Clean who was still under contract with Proctor and Gamble, but has managed the Proctor and Gamble softball team for last decade. They recently won their second straight championship, but Mr. Clean was not very happy about being passed over for the Cubs managerial position based on some other recent managerial hirings by the White Sox and Cardinals.

“Listen, if the White Sox can hire a Soccer Dad as their manager [Robin Ventura], and the Cardinals can hire a Little League video instructor [Mike Matheny] as their manager I should have a had a shot,” adding, ” I certainly have more managerial experience then those two guys.”

Epstein’s comments were to the point when asked about Mr. Clean, “if Clean continues to show progress with the Proctor and Gamble team and the Sveum signing doesn’t work out we might give him a shot in a few years. That’s all I have to say on the matter.”

When Mr. Clean heard Epstein’s remarks he had this to say, “sounds like I’ve been Sandberged.”

Only time will tell if Mr. Clean will get his shot, for now Dale Sveum will lead the resurgence of the Cubs’ organization on the field.

 

Beer League Championship Series

Posted on by
Reply

Though both are better known worldwide for their terrible beers, NL Central division rivals Milwaukee Brewers and St. Louis Cardinals find themselves ready to battle for a trip to the World Series.

Anchored by the perennial All-Star power bats of Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun and bolstered by free agent pitching acquisitions Zack Greinke, Shaun Marcum and Francisco Rodriguez, the Brewers cruised to the highest regular season win total (96) in the history of the franchise and easily won the NL Central by six games. The Brew Crew had a lot more trouble with the Arizona Diamondbacks in the NLDS, but finally prevailed in dramatic fashion on a “beast mode” walk-off single by enigmatic center fielder Tony Plush (a.k.a. Nyjer Morgan) in the bottom of the 10th in last night’s deciding Game 5.

The highly annoying Cardinals took a much less traditional path to the BLCS by capitalizing on the Atlanta Braves’ largest collapse in National League history to snare the Wild Card on the last day of the season (a.k.a “THE GREATEST NIGHT IN MLB REGULAR SEASON HISTORY”).  The Cards drew the 102-win Philadelphia Phillies in the NLDS who essentially hand-picked St. Louis as their opponent by putting the finishing touches on the Braves collapse by sweeping their season-ending series. Clearly, the Phillies are regretting that decision now as the Cards outlasted them with a 1-0 win in last night’s deciding Game 5 behind the masterful pitching of Chris Carpenter.

After splitting their 18 regular-season games, this 1982 World Series rematch (way back when the Brewers were still in the American League) should prove to be very interesting. It might even get ugly as tensions have been high all season between the two after a few beanings, bench clearings, and Twitter barb exchanges. The aforementioned @TheRealTPlush even referred to St. Louis’ holiness Albert Pujols as “Alberta” and the Cards in general as “crying birds.” Completely apropos if you ask me.

The Cardinals took six of the last seven of their regular season meetings and were one of the hottest team on the Senior Circuit down the stretch going 23-9. Even though I think the Brewers are deeper offensively and rotation-wise, annoying manager Tony La Russa‘s bunch always seem to find a way to overcome the odds. I’m taking St. Louis in seven to set up a rematch of the 2006 World Series where the Tigers will exorcise their demons and exact their revenge on the Cardinals.

SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!

Posted on by
Reply


Another St. Louis hillbilly lets his pet varmint out of his jorts and onto the field.

Edwin Jackson jersey available briefly on BlueJays.com

Posted on by
1

The Toronto Blue Jays acquired RHP, Edwin Jackson from the Chicago White Sox only to trade him roughly 30 minutes later to the St. Louis Cardinals for outfielder, Colby Rasmus.

For that brief period of time, the Blue Jays made available Jackon’s #33 jersey for sale on their website.  No records have been releasesd as to how many Jays’ Jackson jerseys were sold.

In his tumultuous career in Toronto, Jackson had a disappointing 0-0 record, but amassed an impressive 0.00  ERA and 0.00 WHIP.

Could Pujols be on steroids?

Posted on by
Reply

Before I get started I have to admit some of this is fueled by my utter disdain for the St. Louis Cardinals organization and the fact that I haven’t gotten my money’s worth out of my $47 investment in Albert Pujols this year as the cornerstone of my 9th-place fantasy team, You’re F*cking Out!

But Pujols’ miraculous recovery from a broken wrist and activation from the DL today has to raise some questions that the superstar thus far has been able to avoid during his Hall of Fame career.  To come back from such as serious injury in a mere two weeks when it was expected to take closer to two months has to make you wonder if something unnatural is assisting him. Human Growth Hormone is known for it’s rapid healing effects on the skeletal system as well as many other super-human effects.

Pujols has always remained above the fray, having never been accused of using any kind of performance enhancing drug despite his prolific numbers and prodigious physique.  In fact, he is almost universally hailed as a non-user and a great person by writers and fans alike mainly due to his outgoing personality and many charitable efforts.

But didn’t we once think Alex Rodriguez was completely legit only to be shocked and dismayed by his admitting to P.E.D. use? Is it not even possible that Pujols could have pulled to wool over our eyes in the same way for all these years? Has he been able to avoid suspicion because he is generally considered a good guy? Could it be that we’re so desperate to cling to any last remnants of what used to be a clean and pure sport that we’re turning a blind eye to the mounting evidence against him? Despite “The Machine” nickname, he is, in fact, only human and capable of making mistakes.

So let’s put reputation, emotion and bias behind us and  simply look at the evidence:

  • Pujols has put up historic career numbers eerily reminiscent to those of peers like Bonds, A-Rod, McQwire and Sosa who have been linked directly or indirectly to performance enhancing drugs.
  • He’s a big dude.  While that’s certainly not an indictable offense, his 6’3″, 230 lb. frame is significantly larger than most other Major League players.
  • He healed from a friggin’ broken arm almost as fast a Wolverine healed from having adamantium grafted onto his skeleton!

Admittedly, this is all circumstantial evidence that wouldn’t stand a chance in a court of law, but as these things continue to mount could the court of public opinion sway against him? And when it comes to the Hall of Fame, the court of public opinion is the one that counts.

Smitty’s Predictions: 2011

Posted on by
3

Behold... the soulless gaze of a bloated champion.

We’re back, baby!  After an interesting off-season of trades and free agent moves, it’s time to evaluate everyone and make predictions for the 2011 season (this year, before the season starts). My optimism for the Tigers and Cubs clouded my judgement last year, but I still batted .500 for the season.  I won’t make that mistake again, though I’m quietly optimistic each will be in their respective division races for most of the season.

AL East Division Champions: Boston Red Sox
Remember when the BoSox were the other Lovable Losers? Those days are long gone as they’ve clearly turned to the Dark Side and become the other Evil Empire, buying their way to the top of the division once again. The major off-season additions of Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford will prove to be too much for an aged Yankees squad and a depleted Rays team that missed it’s window of opportunity. Beantown has lost its soul, but gained a perennial championship contender—not a bad deal if you ask me and other Cubs fans.

AL Central Division Champions: Minnesota Twins
It pains me to admit it, but the Twins are simply the best organization in the division. They’ve proven it year after year and, despite big time free agent pickups by the Tigers and White Sox, they will prove it again. The return of Justin Morneau and Joe Nathan will only make last year’s division winner that much better. Too bad they always embarrass themselves and the AL Central by repeatedly shitting the bed in the playoffs.

AL West Division Champions: Oakland Athletics
Billy Beane hasn’t abandoned his Moneyball principles, the A’s have just taken close to a decade to recover from losing all the home grown talent they built up in the early 2000s to free agency. With an impressive stable of young power arms in the rotation and bullpen, Oakland will rise again as the ultimate symbol of the wit and guile of the underdog overcoming the superior resources of it’s oppressive foes.  And it’ll be just in time for the Moneyball movie release.  Gotta love Hollywood endings.

AL Wild Card: New York Yankees
The original Evil Empire will still have just enough left in the tank to outlast other Wild Card contenders such as the Rays, White Sox, Tigers and Rangers.  An almost-guaranteed major trade deadline acquisition won’t hurt their chances either.

NL East Division Champions: Atlanta Braves
Despite Philadelphia assembling possibly the most formidable rotation in modern times, I’m picking the Braves for the second year in a row.  The superior depth of talent at every phase of the game will be too much for the Phillies, especially with the offense being a shadow of it’s former self due to age (Rollins), free agency (Werth), declining skills (Howard) and injury (Utley).

NL Central Division Champions: St. Louis Cardinals
Cincinnati will fall back to earth as Dusty Baker continues to leave a trail of droopy-eyed, armless pitchers in his wake with Johnny Cueto and Homer Bailey being his latest victims.  Milwaukee will underachieve yet again and the Cubs… well they’re still the Cubs.  Even with the loss of Adam Wainwright, Dave Duncan will find a way to get the most out of the arms the Cards have left and Albert Pujols will be extremely motivated to showcase his skills for the highest bidder at the end of 2011. Please notice I’m giving zero credit to the highly-overrated Tony Larussa—I hate that drunk-driving prick.

NL West Division Champions: Colorado Rockies
This was the hardest division for me to pick since I really don’t like any of these teams.  But superior talents like  Troy Tulowitzki, Carlos Gonzalez, and Ubaldo Jimenez, will lead Colorado to the title over a very lucky Giants squad.

NL Wild Card: San Francisco Giants
I still can’t believe that team that barely made the playoffs actually won the World Series, but it’s hard to count the World Champions out completely. Even though they were clearly the worst title team since the 2006 St. Louis Cardinals, using smoke & mirrors and getting every bounce along the way, they’ll find a way to make the post-season again.

World Series: Boston Red Sox over the Atlanta Braves in 6
In what would’ve been a subway series 60 years ago, the Sox will have now purchased their third World Series title in eight years.

AL MVP: Adrian Gonzalez, BOS

AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez, SEA

NL MVP: Albert Pujols, STL

NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay, PHI

Love/Hate/Love

Posted on by
Reply

At least the weather was good and the beer was cold

Just when you thought the Cubs were starting to build some momentum—POOF!!!  Having won series over decent teams like Colorado, Texas, LA and splitting with NL-leading Philadelphia, Cubs fans had reason to believe things were turning around going into a huge divisional battle against the hated St. Louis Cardinals.

But that warm and fuzzy feeling lasted about four minutes as a usually solid Randy Wells needed only 16 pitches to give the Cards a 5-0 lead on six consecutive hits while not recording a single out.  Wells ERA ballooned from a solid 3.99 to 4.79 as a result. From our awesome 6th-row seats behind first base, it appeared that Wells just lacked velocity as the Cards pummeled one first-pitch fast ball after another.

Mercifully, Lou Piniella pulled him before things got any worse as Wells simply didn’t have it.  It was later reported that Wells was suffering from flu-like symptoms before the game.  This would explain the horrible performance, but it doesn’t explain why Lou would still choose to put a clearly-ailing pitcher out there to get lit up.  Maybe he was simply trying to put the infamous rotation/bullpen situation to bed by embarrassing Wells and paving his way to the ‘pen?  That seems unlikely, but you never know with this soap opera that is the 2010 Cubs.

The head on my Old Style barely had time to settle and the game was already over. Those five runs proved to be more than enough for the Cards who eventually won a subsequently uneventful and boring game, 7-1.  On the bright side, we had incredible seats on a spectacular day and the aforementioned beers were cold and plentiful.