Matthew Clemmens, you are an asshole.

While Milton Bradley’s prolific assholian resumé always puts him in the running for our Asshole of the Month award (this month: flipping off Texas fans and getting sued by his former Chicago landlord $44,000 in unpaid rent), but this month’s runaway winner is also an early front-runner for Asshole of the Year.

21-year-old Philadelphia Phillies fan, Matthew Clemmens, was arrested for intentionally vomiting on an 11-year-old girl during a Phillies game. Take that in for a second–he shoved two fingers down his throat and intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl! Wow. I guess his buddy got kicked out earlier for similar, yet slightly less revolting behavior and this was Clemmens’ idea of retribution against the people who originally alerted security. Remind me to wear a Hazmat suit if I ever decide to make a road trip to Citizen’s Bank Ballpark.

There is a hint of poetic justice in this story since the girl’s father happens to be an off-duty cop, so you know this asshole got the “special treatment” when they hauled him off to jail. From the looks of this mug shot, the boys down at the station got a good head start.

UPDATE:  Apparently the dude is dead now, but social Darwinism is alive and wel.

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