The schizophrenic Cubs took another step towards pushing their volatile manager over the edge yesterday after dropping their second-straight to lowly Pittsburgh.  This time, the chronically inconsistent offense was shut down by Pirates’ starter, Charlie Morton. The 4-2 victory was his first of the year and it also dropped his Major-League-worst 12.57 ERA to a cool 10.30.

The source to the club’s offensive woes (and Lou’s indigestion) is ice-cold third baseman, Aramis Ramirez, who is now batting and almost unimaginable .154 for the year.  Lou had no choice but to drop him to #6 in the batting order after he’s compiled 27 strikeouts with only 9 walks. But when questioned about the move before the game, Piniella showed signs of cracking.

“Look, ” [Lou’s favorite way to start a sentence] “you know what the amazing thing is? When you lose a baseball game, the manager gets questioned,” Piniella said. “If I stayed the same for the next 15 games, the first thing I’d be asked is ‘Why in the hell aren’t you doing anything? So, look,” [there it is again]  “I understand the whole process, believe me.”

And the team’s performance didn’t help Lou find any answers afterward.

“What can you do?” he said. “Look,” [when in doubt, always fall back on the familiar] “I don’t know. I don’t have answers for this.”

We at Major League Assholes promise to keep you abreast of the situation as Lou is sure to erupt like an Icelandic volcano in the very near future.  We just pray the fallout won’t disrupt anyone’s European travel plans.

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