No one wants to be a Pirate - unless they are playing the Cubs

I’m headed to Wrigley in about an hour and would normally be confident that the home team would have a pretty good shot at taking care of the lowly Pirates—but not today.

The Pirates have been one of the worst franchises in the game for close to 20 years now and have done little to reverse that trend this season except to completely own the Cubs with a 4-0 record.

The Bucs are a pathetic 11-20 against the rest of the league and are setting records for offensive futility having lost five of six while scoring a total of 10 runs over that span.

But something comes over the otherwise inept Pirates when they see the Cubs on the schedule.  Sabers start rattling, parrots start squawking, and puffy shirts swell with confidence.

They know that when Cubs pitching is solid, the offense will be non-existent.  When the offense shows up, the bullpen will blow it all up like an errant spark landing in a barrel of gunpowder.  Zambrano was the captain of that dingy yesterday, hitting the first batter he faced and then promptly giving up 3 runs on 5 hits to break a 6-6 tie in the 8th.

Dempster takes the mound today, which would normally mean good things, but the Cubs have consistently proven they will play down to the competition (or worse) so I’ll be anxious to see what new ways they’ll find to embarrass themselves today.

At the very least, I know they’ll be serving beer.