The left-for-dead Detroit Tigers rose from the grave this weekend to hand the White Sox their second home series loss in a row, dropping them 3 games behind the division-leading Minnesota Twins.

Despite being pronounced dead over a week ago by our own Peter Verniere, the apparently zombi-fied Tigers came back to life and feasted on the Sox’ Achilles heel—their bullpen.

Detroit’s bloodthirsty lust for human flesh was soothed—albeit temporarily—by the Sox’ new closer, J.J. Putz who served up some meaty pitches including a two-run home run to the zombie Alex Avila in a blown save and loss against the Tigers Saturday.

Sox fans were sent screaming in horror down the streets of Bridgeport on Sunday as the feeding frenzy continued when the Sox’ bullpen surrendered 7 runs in the 8th and 9th to seal the game and series win for the tattered, decaying, undead Tigers.

Afterward, as the team lurched toward a nearby shopping mall to terrorize local teens, Tigers’ manager, the zombie Jim Leyland muttered, “mmmmmm, BRRRRAAAAIIIIIINNNNZZZZZ!” as his rotted upper lip and mustache fell from his face.

Advertisements