After becoming only the third Cubs’ pitcher since 1955 to give up five home runs in a game Friday night (seems like that number should be higher, doesn’t it?), Carlos Zambrano promptly—and very predictably—attempted to hit the next batter, Atlanta’s sure-Hall-of-Famer third baseman, Chipper Jones and was immediately ejected.
Soon after his cliché and immature overreaction, the Baby Bull lived up to the first half of his nickname and reportedly cleared out his locker while exclaiming to everyone in the vicinity that he was retiring. Now he’s missing and all of Cubs Nation is holding their collective breath, hoping he doesn’t come back.
Amiable, yet incompetent, Cubs’ manager, Mike Quade, sounded as baffled and panicked as ever after the game:
His locker is empty. I don’t know where he’s at. He walked out on 24 guys that are battling their asses off for him. I don’t know where he’s gone or what he’s doing. I heard he’s retired, or talking about retiring.
Walking away from the nearly $24 million still owed him would be a surprising move for most humans, but it’s a plausible scenario for the erratic Zambrano. “We will respect his wishes and honor them and move forward,” said a giddy Cubs’ GM, Jim Hendry after the incident.
So is this finally the last we’ve seen of the spectacularly mediocre Carlos Zambrano? Cubs’ fans can only hope.
Major League A*Holes 
I’m not positive, but if the money’s “guaranteed” then I think he gets a good percentage of it if he retires.
If he comes out of retirement and plays for another team, then he would owe the Cubs money.
Most reports say he’d forfeit that money if he retires, but I think Hendry and Z’s agents are negotiating a percentage right now to make sure he actually does retire instead of hanging around thru the end of the contract.