Ozzie waves bye to the Sox and fans.

I text my good friend, Smitty, last night and said I wasn’t going to write anything about Ozzie Guillen until this morning, when I had some time to let it all “soak in”. I’m glad I waited, because what I read this morning in the paper made me throw-up in my mouth.

Ozzie, don’t let the clubhouse door hit you on the ass on your way out. Good riddance you greedy bastard, I hope you get all the money you’ve ever wanted to support your deadbeat kids and the captain of your boat. Waaaaa!!!! $2 million a year isn’t enough to support my unemployed kids and the captain of my boat, so forget about the $23 million I made as a player and the other $7 million as the Sox manager (this is a rough estimate), I’m deserting my coaches, players, and the team that took a risk on me to so I could make $4 million a year.

“I’ve got to talk to my wife, and she’s got to cut the shopping process and Ozzie (Jr.) has got to quit drinking a little bit and Oney has to go to work a little bit,” Guillen quipped. “Ozney has got to go to public school and hopefully get a scholarship somewhere, a lot of (stuff). My mom’s got to cut a little bit, my dad’s got to get healthy, my sister’s got to find a rich man.”

But here’s the topper… “There’s a lot behind the scenes. My captain and my boat, I’ve got to cut that thing down. There’s a lot of things I’ve got to pay.”

The more I read this the more I hope it’s a joke, I mean Ozzie does have a pretty sick sense of humor, but the more this story unfolds I realize it’s not.

The Tribune, which provided me the quotes above, also broke a story this morning about how the Ozzie Guillen blog accidentally released a post about him joining the Marlins prematurely at 10:54pm, but it was taken down quickly.

An expert from the entry that the Tribune obtained reads:

“The Florida Marlins believe I am the right man for the job to bring another World Series to South Florida. And just as it has always been with me, winning is my only mission. It’s good being wanted and more importantly it’s good knowing where you stand. Although it’s sad my time with the White Sox has ended, I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to be part of the Marlins organization. I have an unbelievable amount of respect for the Marlins,… I can’t wait to get started.”

So while your team was mathematically in it, you were busy negotiating a deal with the Marlins, while under contract with the White Sox? I cannot think of a more shellfish act, and somehow I think that’s not legal under baseball rules, but the Sox haven’t cried foul. Rumor has it the Marlins are sending something North to compensate for the “The Mouth.” I felt like someone on the Sox was phoning it in when the Sox went to Detroit and got swept and apparently it was the manager. Not taking anything away from the Tigers, they are the best team in the AL Central.

I must admit I did get choked up when I saw Ozzie and AJ hugging after the game last night, when the Sox provided Ozzie with one more victory, but after reading all the quotes today I really wished they had lost. “The Mouth” did not deserve a win last night he deserved another painful loss, like Adam Dunn hitting into a triple play with the bases loaded and no out in the bottom of the ninth trailing by one. That seems more fitting for such a selfish person. I real feel like a fool sticking up for Ozzie over the last eight years.

I also realize that “The Mouth’s” source of income is managing MLB teams, so a better offer came along before you’ve honored your $2 million contract for 2012. Again we’re not talking $100,000 here, we’re talking about a man making $2 million a year and has made upwards of $30 million in his baseball career.

I’m sure the hardworking fans on both sides of town really feel sorry for you Ozzie. I know this hardworking Sox fan hopes your boat sinks along with hopes of a World Series in Florida. Next up, Ryne Sandberg? Could be, stay tuned…