Let me start by saying I should’ve amended that headline to “The Price is right, but the time is wrong, bitch!” but it just didn’t have the same punch to it and I’m never one pass up an opportunity to make a Happy Gilmore reference.  What I’m really trying to say is David Price is absolutely the real deal and it would be fucking awesome to see him on the North side at some point, but NOW is not the time.

This whole shitstorm started out like most dumb sports dramas do—with desperate reporters trying to drum up stories out of nothing.  Last week’s 4-day All-Star Break was the quintessential example of this with every baseball reporter marooned in Minneapolis with only one game to occupy their minds.  The whole Wainwright/Jeter fiasco is a prime example, but the Price/Cubs “story” is equally banal. When asked about the trade rumors swirling around him and possible destinations, Price made some innocuous comments any reasonable person would agree with:

“Winning absolutely is something you want to do. Being a part of something special is also something you want to do. You can take that to a first-place team. You could take that all the way to a last-place team like the Cubs. With the talent they have coming up they could be a very special team in a few years as well. That would probably be the coolest city to win a championship in. They haven’t done it in I’m not sure how long. To do that there that would be the coolest city to win a championship in right now.”

Then the whole world went blogosphere lost it’s collective mind. Never missing a chance to quip about the Cubs and their 105-year drought (or is it 106 now?), FoxSports’ Ken Rosenthal opined that  “trading for Price would be right move for Cubs.” Parasites like  NBCSports Hardball Talk and the Chicago Tribune’s Steve Rosenbloom picked up on the idea like a dog picking up the scent of an asshole, blindly asking ‘why not?’ But the question they all should be asking is ‘why now?’

If Price really wants to be here, he can choose to do so when he becomes a free agent in 2016 when the Cubs are more likely to be ready to exploit all that young talent they’ve been stockpiling and compete again. The Cubs are obviously not going anywhere this year, and probably not next, even if they made the audacious move for Price. Say what you will about Theo Epstein‘s now infamous Plan— to create a robust farm system and fill in holes at the major league level with key free agents at the right time to create a platform for sustained competitiveness—why would they go thru all these years of pain only to abandon that plan at this critical moment? Especially when Price could walk at the end of next year?? Why would they deplete that talent pool they’ve spent so much time and effort building on what would amount to a one-year roll of the dice???

This would be the exact same type of short-term folly the previous Jim Hendry regime was famous for which left the franchise in the shambles that the Cubs are still working to dig themselves out of. If the Cubs stay the course and finally exercise a little patience until 2016, Rosenbloggers everywhere will be quoting our favorite failed-hockey-player-turned-golf-star:

“I’m stupid. You’re smart. I was wrong. You were right. You’re the best.I’m the worst. You’re very good-looking. I’m not attractive.”
– Happy Gilmore