DEE_GORDONIt was a banner week for assholes across the baseball landscape, but Marlins 2B Dee Gordon really distinguished himself above all when the reigning NL batting champion got busted for PEDs.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one scratching his head when the speedster who habitually hit weak grounders to second as a Dodger suddenly turned those into hard gappers in Miami.

Fortunately for Gordon, crime pays… and very well indeed. The meager 80 games and $1.63M he’ll lose as ‘punishment’ is hardly a drop in the bucket compared to the five-year, $50M contract extension he swindled his way into after batting .333 in 2015.

In fact, a friend of Gordon’s basically told USA Today’s Bob Nightengale he would’ve been stupid NOT to cheat:

“Why wouldn’t he do it?’’ said the friend, who requested anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the topic. “Think about it, why wouldn’t Dee take that chance? Why wouldn’t anyone?

“So he got caught. So what? It was better than spending his career in the minors. His image may be shot, but he’s still has got his $50 million in the bank and can take care of his family for the rest of his life.

“So really, when you think about it, it’s worth it.’’

No doubt.  Congratulations, asshole. We’re all happy for you.


Dishonorable Mentions of the Week: