The Cleveland Board of Tourism was stunned to learn Sunday that their desperate attempt to convince Milwaukee Brewers star catcher, Jonathan Lucroy to waive his no-trade clause and agree to be traded to the Indians had fallen on deaf ears.

That state of shock was not limited to its fictitious municipal bureaucrats as Cleveland fans, still drunk from the Cavaliers’ NBA  championship in June,  grappled with the truth that they still live in an undesirable city whose sports legacy is just as depressing and unattractive as it ever was.

When given the news that a deal was in place to send him to the infamous Mistake by the Lake, Lucroy and his agent demanded that the Indians decline his 2017 club option worth $5.25 million and make him a free agent after this season, acording to industry sources. Lucroy was essentially telling them to go fuck themselves if they thought he was going to stick around that shithole any longer than the next two months.

“You’re dealing with life-changing and altering decisions like this,” Lucroy told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Sunday morning. “There are a lot of different factors that come into play. Mostly it’s family and the other half of that is your future in this game, your career. There are a lot of different things to take in, and whenever those things don’t line up, a decision has to be made that might be tough. I have to look out for our best interests.”

Clearly those interests didn’t align with a life in Cleveland.

The Indians, however, were able to sieze Andrew Miller against his will in a blockbuster deal with the the Yankees so they have that to hang their hat on. While it’s a formidable addition, it’s interesting to note that their bullpen already had the league’s second best ERA at 3.12 so it really wasn’t a huge issue they needed to address.

Their real problem is an offense that ranks in the bottom third of the AL. With catcher Yan Gomes potentially out for the season with a separated shoulder, having a deal in place for the perfect solution in Lucroy, only to get his middle finger has to hurt.

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