220px-Jed_Hoyer_2011I’m starting off this week’s Around the Horn with a question that’s been eating at me since the White Sox traded Jose Quintana to the Cubs… What does Jed Hoyer do? The reason I ask is because in every instance of a trade with the Cubs it’s Theo on the phone completing the deal. Rick Hahn talked about how he took the call from Theo while at the All-Star game Fan Fest with his kid, not from Hoyer. It could be that Theo keeps Hoyer around because he feels sorry for him, special needs cousin, voice of God (Theo), to field interviews or Hoyer has some scandalous pictures of Theo, but it’s really unclear what he does. We can certainly say that the San Diego Padres are still dealing with his “Wrath of Hoyer” from his time as GM.

Special shout out to the Tigers for helping the White Sox hone in on the number one pick by paying Mike Pelfrey to pitch for us. Nice to know you care!

ct-white-sox-2017-schedule-20160914Good news White Sox fans! Reynaldo Lopez should be up this Friday to pitch against the Royals. Another reason to watch the White Sox besides Yoan Moncada or Yohan if you’re Hawk.

This just in… White Sox go for the sweep against the best team in the AL? The kids can play? The seven RBIs the Sox dropped on the Astros last night were courtesy of the farm system. Carlos Rodon takes the mound tonight for the sweep… looks more like something I would type in 2020.

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Speaking of Hawk, he said he’d never step foot in Wrigley Field; “Worst press box, worst booths for television. It’s a joke. It really is,” Harrelson told reporters of the Cubs’ legendary Wrigley Field. “I will never step foot in that ballpark again. Ever.” I could hear Cubs fans cheering throughout the Chicagoland area! Let me stick with Hawk for a second, he announced his reduced schedule as he’s ready for retirement, but is he expecting a pre-game ceremony in parks that he visits like the Derek Jeter world tour? I have a recommendation, a gold plaque with a jock strap and a pair of balls hanging from it, one of Hawk’s catch phrases from the 90’s. “Sometimes you have to reach out, pull your jock strap up above your waist and let your gonads hang out.” That’s quite a visual.

Shouldn’t the Cubs find an AL suitor for Kyle Schwarber? They are only hurting the team by trotting him out to left field. How he didn’t get an error for his first botched catch in left on Sunday is ridiculous. Jim Deshaies alluded to the difficulty of the catch not leading to the error. Yeah, if you’re a DH playing left it’s a difficult catch, but it wasn’t for a left fielder. He looks like Frankenstein running to the ball. “I. Must. Catch. Me trying.”

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Rumors are circulating this morning that Schwarbust might be behind the plate, can you say passed ball?

This just in… The Giants take their series with the Cubs with second consecutive win. Apparently too much Metallica and not enough Village People effected the Cubs performance.

Screen Shot 2017-08-10 at 9.31.52 AMUntil Until next week!

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