Perhaps brought on by the demonic power of a mysterious golden chain bestowed upon him by best brethren Anthony Rizzo earlier in the day, a hardly recognizable Kris Bryant committed his first sin on Earth Saturday night when he used profanity in a post-game interview.

When asked about the criticism he’s received on social media, the formerly pure Bryant erupted in an uncharacteristic furious rage.

Woe unto thee, trolls. Woe unto thee.

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51 | No Worries, Mate! Sox Sign Hendriks Major League A*Holes: The Show

White Sox continue to not fuck around and sign the best closer on the market  |  The market was better for Kyle Schwarber than anyone thought  |  Rumors of an imminent Kris Bryant trade were greatly exaggerated  |  Jon "Boog" Sciambi becomes the new voice of the Cubs  |  Marcell Ozuna to the Giants?  |  Does anyone even bother listening to Rob Manfred anymore?  |  Asshole of the Week: first-time Hall of Fame voter makes it all about himself
  1. 51 | No Worries, Mate! Sox Sign Hendriks
  2. 50 | Asshole of the Year: Rob Manfred
  3. 49 | Winter Meetings (kinda? sorta?) Special
  4. 48 | Kasper the Friendly Host Goes BiSOXual
  5. 47 | La-Russa-Palooza Circus Takes a Drunk Turn