MLB is obviously struggling to perform basic functions these days, so we thought we’d take All-Star voting off their plate. We used a player pool of the five teams we cover regularly to name the best player(s) at each position to create the 2021 MLA All-Star Team. You’re welcome.

With a no-hitter on his 2021 resume, the White Sox’ Carlos Rodón barely edged out the Giants’ Kevin Gausman for the top spot in an absolutely LOADED rotation rounded out with the Sox’ Lance Lynn, Cubs’ Kyle Hendricks, and the A’s Sean Manaea. #ASG

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107 | This is as Bad as the Cubs Have Ever Been Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE

Riley Greene injects some hope in #Tigers Nation and some life into a previously dormant offense  |  Your eyes aren't deceiving you, the last 162-game stretch has been the WORST in the #Cubs' 152-year history  |  The Chicago Tribune's Paul Sullivan is an asshole, but we like it  |  #MLB has FINALLY seen the light as the end of streaming blackouts is upon us!  |  Leiseru Rules: Theo Epstein had himself one hell of a Day Off  |  #SFGiants tread water in the toughest division in baseball despite injuries to rivals Mookie Betts and Manny Machado  |  ASSTHETICS: Baseball, beer, BBQ — what else could anyone want from the #BrewCrew's new Nike City Connect uniforms?  |  MAIL FRAUD: Does the utility man deserve a place in the #AllStarGame? WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
  1. 107 | This is as Bad as the Cubs Have Ever Been
  2. 106 | It's Finally Time to Fire Al Avila
  3. 105 | Cubs & Contreras Find Common Ground… For Now
  4. 104 | Worst Crosstown Series Ever
  5. 103 | Baseball Needs Less Josh Donaldsons